I have this thing I do when I have a goal that I’m not quite sure I can achieve. I tell everyone I know about it. I call it the “shame factor.” The extra added pressure of not only letting myself down if I fail to succeed, but my public too.
It doesn’t always work. Sometimes it gets overtaken by the “sarcasm factor” (tendency to mock my failure for the amusement of my friends and family). But every once in a while it serves its purpose and helps me push myself to realize a goal I might otherwise give up on if I knew no one but me and the trees was aware of the fact that I was even aiming for it.
It worked with dating. Back in late August when I wrote this post, I had some serious doubts about my ability to follow through on my objective of wading back into the dating pool: years of knowing that flirting couldn’t lead to anything since I was already taken had me questioning my ability to do my part to move from a crush to a connection; fears of rejection had me convinced that no one would want someone who had failed so spectacularly at long-term once before . . . I had an endless list of reasons to want to put off the challenge of trying to date again.
But I knew the longer I avoided it the harder it would become to start. So, when I began my adventures in online dating last November, I posted about it here, talked about it with my friends and family (shout out to my parents for not freaking out about my stories of meeting strange men for coffee) . . . heck, I even facebooked about it. And I am not normally one of those people who shares an abundance of private info about myself on FB.