My last post about doing what you love marked a major transformation in my relationship with myself.For all the insight I’ve gained this year from embracing concepts like living in the now and living with intention, I’ve known for some time that I was doing so with my eyes half open.

I was stumbling my way through these new ways of living.
Like a traveller with a good sense of direction but no decent map or compass, I took some right turns and happened upon some great places, but the whole time had only a hazy sense of where I was, and where I should go next.
With my last post, it was like I suddenly found my compass.Do what you love.

The tool I’ve been missing to help me figure out how to traverse the map of my life.  To chart the incomplete sections of it, even.

And it feels great.
But also scary.
Because doing what you love requires knowledgeof self.It requires honesty with self.

And most of all, it requires courage.

And none of these things are easy to attain, let me tell you.

You see, figuring out what you love is a hard step, but it’s really just the beginning.  Because once you connect with that, the work to hold onto this knowlege, to be honest with yourself about whether you are staying true to your heart begins.

And as if this weren’t enough of a battle on its own, as you do this you need also to look inside for the courage to find ways to start doing what you love.  To take action.  All the while struggling not to give undue power to the people and circumstances that will either purposefully or inadvertently attempt draw you away from what you love.

Like your own self-doubt.

Or the advice of people whose opinions you generally value, but whose well-meaning words are sometimes really more about them putting their baggage on you.  Because they are guided by a different compass.

All of this requires a tremendous amount of strength.  Or, as I’ve come to understand it in recent weeks: a tremendous amount of love and acceptance

Because if you lack total love and acceptance of self, your compass will be just a little bit off.  Your knowledge partial.  Your honesty hard to attain.  Your courage too easily undermined.

This has been my struggle in recent weeks.   Because while I have had a lot of success in re-connecting with, and discovering, more and more of the things about myself that I love, I have an on-again / off-again relationship with total self-acceptance.

I tend to judge myself too harshly.  To focus more on the negatives than the positives.  Particularly in times of significant change.  You know, like during this #freshstart I am attempting with my recent move to Toronto :)I know I am not unique in this.

Some of the most rewarding connections I’ve made of late have centred around honest dialogues about this challenge.  Particularly with people who, like me, have come to understand that their over concern with pleasing others, their constant need to prove their value by attempting to be the architect of other peoples’ happiness is a tireless and endless pursuit.

With people who are walking beside, behind and ahead of me on the path to total love and acceptance of self.  Fuelled by the belief that we can contribute far more to the well-being of the people that we love, to the world, even, when we first accept our own worth.

So, yeh, I have been struggling a bit in my journey along this path lately.  Have been letting the negative kick the positive’s a## in a few too many head-to-heads.

Which is why this tea fortune in my packet of Egyptian Licorice Yogi Tea was such a welcome sight today.

Yes.  That.  I am working towards that.  And it’s not going to be easy.  But it is going to be worth it.

Meet you there?