2012 was my year of what’s now. Of living in the moment.
2013, my year of love. Of setting the intention to love what is ahead by loving what has come before.
Just listen was my 2014 compass. A year of creating more space for listening to my own instincts.
And then in 2015 . . . nothing.
Well, not nothing. I had aspirations. Many of them.
But I didn’t post about them here.
Never gave the year a name, or officially launched its beginning.
Partly because I was in Ecuador visiting family over New Year’s last year and never found time to write while traveling. But partly also because I dove pretty much straight into some big change in 2015, and never seemed to surface long enough to write about much of it in any great detail.
In fact, I only wrote five blog posts in all of last year.
If you’ve read any of my previous new years’ posts, however, you know that I believe names are important. Beginnings and endings too.
I neglected to give 2015 either of the first two. As it comes to a close, I’m determined to give it a proper attempt at the latter.
For me, properly drawing 2015 to a close involves a lot of reflection. Highs and lows. Aspirations realized. Challenges faced.
This year I had a little help with this exercise by way of a year in review and goal setting workshop with about twenty members of a really special community I became a part of in 2015.
One of the exercises? Write a letter to 2015.
I found myself with so much to say.
“Dear 2015,” I began, “Gratitude for all that we accomplished together. Love expressed. Insights realized. Change — sought and unsought, wanted and unwelcome — navigated. This year has been one in which so much of the work of the past several years came to fruition. A year of finding better balance. A year of hitting my stride in so many areas of my life.”
“The hurts —and there were hurts — were hard. Losing a friend. Losing a grandparent. Navigating my feelings around how to accept, really accept, the addiction and mental health issues in my family . . . But I used my tools. I practiced what I help others in my community to practice. And I dealt with all of this from a place of balance and strength.”
“In the end,” I concluded, “there were too many successes to list. What a blessing is that? Even more so to know that I manifested this.”
“Goodbye, 2015. I will see you in my memories. The foundation for next year’s dreams.”
The mere fact of having had a community to share this exercise with is but one indication of the many highs of the year that just ended. I am deeply grateful that there are so many more.
Gratitude was a big theme for me this year. Others ranged from radical self-care, an aspiration I struggled with, but at last got a handle on, toward the end of the year, to identifying and pursuing a career change that would see me earning income for working on content that I loved, at a challenge level that allowed me to grow, in a culture that aligned with my optimal conditions for performance.
Yeh. When I pursue change, I’m a “go big or go home” kindof a gal.
Oh! And with all of this in the works, I’m super proud to say that 2015 is also the year in which I dated the most in the five years since my divorce.
(Oh, p.s. Yup. I finally reached the five year mark on that milestone. Whoa, right? Right.)
So where to from here? What is my final word on 2015? What intention do I set for the year that has just begun?
Looking back, it’s really quite clear.
2015 was my year of transformation.
It was the year when this — a lesson I have learned many times in recent years, but I don’t think fully embraced in that “feel it in your bones” kindof a way until this past fall — finally took root for me:
As for 2016, well, I have big plans. I came up with a list of no less than six major goals when brainstorming at that workshop a few days ago.
When I stepped back to ruminate on an overarching intention for the year, though, I came easily to this.
My intention for 2016 is to nourish intimacy.
With myself and with others.
Physical. Emotional. Intellectual. Spiritual.
Let’s aim for an even deeper level of love and acceptance, friends.
Let’s build something remarkable together.